Well, it’s official. Oceanside Wellness has been renamed…Seaside Health and Wellness. I wonder how long it took to come up with that name? And I understand Addison’s reasons for not naming it Montgomery Wellness, but honestly, that sounds a hundred times better than Seaside Health and Wellness. SEASIDE? It just conjures up images of ice-creams and donkey rides for me.
Also this episode…
Jake moves in.
Jake is moving into his new office, and his moving-in presents go down a lot better than Charlotte’s did back in Season 3, although given that they’re expensive bottles of wine, they may not be the best thing for Amelia. He’s also dispensing advice to Cooper on his relationship dilemma (sorely-needed advice, as Charlotte seems to see “you can’t stay mad at me forever” as a challenge), which would be great if he was married to someone with a lower tolerance for bullshit than Charlotte King. As it is, she responds to his claims to understand her with “What exactly do you understand?”, effectively catching him out. (Later they do manage to make up, after she explains to him what he should understand, that she doesn’t actually like being the bad guy, or the sheriff all the time.)
Jake also celebrates joining the clinic with a risky surgery. He wants to give a woman her grandmother’s uterus so that she can have a baby. Yes, her grandmother’s uterus. At least, as Cooper points out, she probably isn’t using it! Addison isn’t impressed with the surgery, but the patient manages to win her round by telling her that she wants her own baby – now I can’t think of anyone else to whom that might apply… Unfortunately, having got Addison on side, the surgery is then unsuccessful, although this does give Jake the opportunity to deliver a heartfelt speech and prove once more that he is God’s gift to the female sex.
Amelia’s back on the wagon.
Amelia starts this episode in an AA meeting, the first one we’ve seen her attend on-screen, and it’s powerful stuff. “I’m humiliated that it’s Day One again,” she says, and is adamant that she won’t drink any more. But her day is determined to test as, as she treats a patient with Parkinson’s who is having problems with compulsive behaviour after increasing her meds. She’s now addicted to having sex, mostly in supply closets, and has given her husband gonorrhoea. Amelia discusses this problem with the other doctors (innuendos abound, but anyone who has sex with a plumber is asking for it really), and ends up being tag-teamed by Charlotte and Sheldon. It also emerges that Amelia has a third addiction, Deep Brain Stimulation (“Why do you always want to do DBS?” Sheldon groans), which she wants to use to help her patient. Her patient isn’t sure that she wants to give up her addiction though, and I spend most of these scenes hiding my face in my hands and waiting for Amelia to take a drink. It’s not so much that I don’t have faith in her as that I can’t see the writers abandoning this storyline just yet.
Violet needs a friend.
Pete is still dealing with his heart attack by yelling (and telling the free Sheldon therapy service that he hates broccoli and that sleeping with his wife was like having sex with a prostitute), and Violet is bearing the brunt of his rage. This and staying at home all day are turning her too crazy even for Cooper to handle, and mommy group doesn’t help matters either. So she does what any sane person would do, cuts off all her hair and goes to talk to Addison.
Addison is busy dealing with her own mommy issues, and is slightly confused when Violet asks her out to lunch. She then says the words we’ve all been thinking: “But it’s not like we’ve ever been friends!” Within a scene though, they’ve realised that they’re both lonely and, via the most awkward of conversations (“Do you wanna be friends?” “I like your haircut.”) they are officially friends. I’m still not sure that I can see them as friends, but now at least it doesn’t seem quite so out of the blue. And with Naomi gone and Amelia and Charlotte at loggerheads, this show is in need of a good female friendship.
This last point needs a category of its own, simply because of the huge ramifications that it’s going to have. Cooper’s a daddy! And Charlotte is not going to be amused when she finds out…